In the beginning of 2019, I was searching. Searching for another way of life, for more freedom, and for more connection. I was really longing to free myself from old stories and patterns. I felt empty, burned out, not really connected with myself. I have always been practicing yoga as a cure for years, but it was the first time that it didn’t feel enough.
I randomly stumbled upon Serap’s course of “The Art of Rituals and Sacred Space” - my intuition was delighted and I felt butterflies in my belly. My mind was more sceptical, I had to invest an amount of money and my mind wasn’t sure if it would be “worth” it. To feel more sure about it, I joined one of Serap’s Cacao Ceremonies and experienced the magical energy that she creates, for the first time. After this ceremony I knew I had to join the training.
What I experienced during these 4 days of “The Art of Ritual and Sacred Space” was incredible and shifted so many things and perspectives within me.
Suddenly I understood the idea and the magic of rituals, of presence, of different energies in spaces. I experienced sisterhood, unconditional support within a circle, and I found the permission to be fully me. I perceived and recognised so many doubts and so much fear within me, and I received the space to be seen and accepted as I am. I learnt many techniques and so much knowledge about rituals, sacred space, and connection to nature, so my mind was fully captured and busy. At the same time, my soul was nourished by invisible and unspoken information that changed my view on my life and the lives on this planet.
Rituals became an important part of my life. While in the beginning it felt foreign and weird to repeat rituals we’ve been talking about during the course, it was also so magical and comforting at the same time. I grew into a space of comfort and connection where I could start my very own personal rituals.
I started smudging, cleaning myself from other energies, putting up my altar, that I already had before, with more care and intention. I started to listen within - what ignites the spark in my soul that leads to this beautiful feeling of connection, grounding, and comfort. When did I feel grounded? How did I feel with people I’ve met? How did I feel waking up in the morning, knowing that I had to go to a job that drained me? I sat down with a cup of cacao, at a space in my home that I arranged beautifully with candles, plants, and crystals, because that was what made me feel good and comfortable, what helped me to slow down and really sink within and listen to myself.
Slowly, slowly, my perspective on rituals shifted and it became more natural to create, to sit, and to sink in. To be honest, I had days when I wanted to sit down and go with the wind, dreams, and spirits but I just couldn’t. I checked my phone, drank my cacao unconsciously, thought about my to-do list awaiting me after my “me-time”. But there were these times when I could completely sink into this dream time, forgetting about time and space.
~ I understood that to carry different energies and to be able to sit and sink and dream, I had to slow down to the frequency of nature, of my very own natural frequency that connects me with all that surrounds me.
~ I understood that creating a ritual without intention feels empty and unconnected.
~ I understood that I could pause my mind and really feel into my body and the vibes within and around me. There was so much information coming out of seemingly nowhere, my intuition talking to me, sending visions and pictures, goose bumps with certain songs, roots growing into the ground, a feeling of gratitude covering my body. I learnt to see and feel these signs, I’ve always known they existed but I've never trusted them as my mind was always louder, but with time, it felt safe to trust.
~ I learnt that music speaks to my soul and that I am allowed to speak up. To raise my voice. Share my opinion. Sing. Without the story of “a beautiful voice” - because that’s what I told myself all the time - I can’t sing, I don’t have a nice voice - and just free myself from this old story. I sat (and still sit) in my living room, creating a beautiful small altar and gave myself the permission to sing as loudly as I want.
~ I understood that rituals are so very personal and depend on what you need to connect with yourself. For me, it has so many different forms, as every day is different and my needs change, but what always stays the same is the slowing down and connection back to myself. Ground and connect with myself and with the earth.
~ I understood that I can create my reality, my energy and the energy that I surround myself with. Very consciously I can set my intention to follow my dreams and make them reality. With rituals I actively create my own world and energy, which influences the world I am living in. During this dream time I dream myself into another realm, looking for ideas and visions that I can then put into practice in my every day.
And since this first ceremony and this training, my world has changed so much in all areas of my life. I freed myself from toxic environments, old stories and patterns and dis-ease. Rituals have become an important part of my life, whether as time for myself, connecting with others in sacred spaces or in the form of sacred creation based on intuition instead of mind knowledge.
To dive deeper into the topic of rituals, we invite you to read our blog post "The essence of Ritual".
Pictures by Jaqueline Louan
Text by Nina